"What About Love? Don't you want someone to care about you?"

No, we are not playing "name that tune" today.  This blog is about something that we all desire and long for, that is love.  We were created out love by Love to be loved and ultimately to love.  I have had people ask me about why I would not want to fall in love and then get married to a man?  "What about love?"  they say.  You see a person does not enter religious life because they could not find a husband or because they are incapable of love.  Actually quite the opposite.  As a Sister, I would be married to Love itself.  To the source of love.  God is love. "Deus caritas est!"   The vocation to religious life is all about love.  Without it we could not faithfully fulfill our vocation. 

So what is love?  "Love is the free self-giving of the heart" By living chastely, poorly, and obediently we allow ourselves to be empty of all material possessions and desires so that God can fill us with His love and with that overflowing of love we can love others that we come in contact with.  We can give our entire selves to love of God and of His people.  What an amazing gift that is?

Religious are called to an intimate love relationship with Christ.  They are not devoid of love but quite the opposite.  I remember both times that I was with the Franciscans their love overflowed into everything that they do.  If it was cooking a meal, visiting with another Sister, talking communion to one of the residents in the nursing home or simply walking around the convent and the grounds you saw the love of God in them and their actions.  One of the first things I remember clearly about Panhandle that a huge affect on me was the love that I saw in Sr. Mary Ana's and Sr. Mary Michael's eyes for all their Sisters.  It was such a beautiful sight!  It has stayed with me since my first visit. I had never seen that before not even in families.  You can visibly see the grace that God has given them to allow them to love like Christ loves.  You see Christ in each one of the Sisters because of their ability to love. 

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” Bl. Mother Teresa

"What really maters in life is that we are loved by Christ and that we love Him in return. In comparison to the love of Jesus, everything else is secondary. And, without the love of Jesus, everything is useless."  John Paul II (soon to be Bl. John Paul II)

Oh just in case you are wondering the song is called "What about Love" by Heart released in 1985. 

Nunsense!

I am feeling humorous tonight after watching "Nunsense".  To be a sister I feel as if one needs to have a sense of humor or at least to be a School Sister.  Everyone of the Sisters there seems to have one.  From the most serious Sister to the most humorous Sister they each have their own sense of humor unique to them.  So tonight I thought I would entertain you with some nunsense.

What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roamin' Catholic

Why don't nuns do drugs?

They already have a habit! (that was stolen from "Nunsense")

A painter was hired to do some work on a local church. To recoup the cost of the discount he had given the church, he diluted his paint with turpentine. One day while he was up on the scaffolding, almost finished with the job, he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.  The rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked the painter off his scaffold and onto the ground below. He knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: “Forgive me Lord! What should I do?” And from above the clouds boomed a voice: “REPAINT! REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!”

Know how to find the catholic "star wars" fans? They're the ones who reply to "may the force be with you" by saying "and also with you" (I've done this)

During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out.

The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.

The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.

The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of darkness.

The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.

The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.

The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.

Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."
The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

A man walked up to a Franciscan and Jesuit and asked, "How many novenas must you say to get a Mercedes Benz?"
The Franciscan asked, "What's a Mercedes Benz?"
The Jesuit asked, "What's a novena?"

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him! 

Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, he's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he's ever had.
After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Francis replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
Father turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be...."
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk..."  

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.  

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest, fingers crossed. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" 

One day, a Dominican and a Jesuit were arguing about which order was better. The Jesuit said that the Gregorian was the best university, the Dominican that "at least in the Angelicum we still believe in God!" . And so forth and so forth. One day they get a letter from God that said the following:



"My Dear children, 

Stop arguing about which is greater, for I love you all anyhow."



Blessings,



God, O.S.F.

 So that was my humor for the evening...I will doing some more serious stuff here in the next few days now that Holy Week is over!  God Bless and Happy Easter!  He is Risen!!!

"Crucify Him"

Holy Week is now upon us.  It began this past Sunday with Palm Sunday.  Palm Sunday commemorates when Christ rode into Jerusalem on an ass.  People are saying "Hosanna in the Highest!  Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord."  They are praising Christ and rejoicing in His coming into Jerusalem.  They are spreading their cloaks and palm leaves in front of His path all the while continuing to cry out and praising him.  But a few days later the same people are suddenly shouting something much different. "Crucify him!" Are we like these people? Do we change our tune depending on how the wind blows? 

This Lent, I have focused more on the Passion of Christ than I had during any previous Lenten seasons.  I have found myself meditating upon the Stations of the Cross more and staring at the crucifix. I think that because I prepared more this Lent I became more in tune to the readings this week.  The reading from Philippians really touched me this Sunday.  I have read it multiple times before because this passage is used in the Liturgy of the Hours but something about it today really struck me.

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Christ made himself a slave for us.  He became man for us.  These statements are nothing new for me; I have known that he humbled Himself and became man but something about it this Sunday made me tear up.  He took the form of a slave for us all.  He allowed Himself to be crucified for us all.

Then we came to the Gospel.  The Gospel during Palm Sunday is the first account of the Passion of Christ that we hear (the readings).  As the Gospel was being proclaimed, I began to tear up once again when we began to hear of the Condemnation of Jesus by Pilate and the people.  I became deeply saddened by what was happening to Christ and knowing that He allowed this to happen for our sins and those of the whole world.  As the assembly of people were saying their part, I began thinking that it is truly us who were shouting "Crucify him." and "We want Barabbas." It is us who spat upon the Precious body of Jesus.  It was us who cruelly mocked him and beat him.  We do this every time that we sin against Him.  We are the one's who nailed Him to the cross.  It is our sins that kept Him there to die.

The crucifixion was not a neat and tidy event like Renaissance art likes to portray it.  It was messy and harsh.  The pain would have been insurmountable.  Jesus' body took a beating beyond any of our bodies would be able to handle.  Flesh was torn from His back as the scourged Him and then torn again after they wrapped Him in a cloak and tore the cloak away after the cloth had adhered to his wounds.  This reopened the wounds and made them hurt even more.  His sacred head was pierced with a crown of piercing thorns.  It was not a wimpy crown of thorns either.  Blood dripped from His sacred head and down His face.  He was then forced to carry a 300 pound cross by himself until Simon of Cyrene was forced to help Jesus take up His cross. His body was still being buffeted by the blows of the soldiers.  Once they reached Golgotha, Jesus was nailed to the cross.  Two nails went through his wrists and another nail went through his feet/lower ankle.  His breathing was labored as it hurt to breath.  People continued to mock him.  Some challenged him by saying that if He was indeed who He claimed to be that He could save Himself. He could come down from the cross.  Jesus at anytime could have called 10,000 angels to take His place but He remained on that cross for us.  Then as death approached He gave up His spirit to God and died.  A solider then took his lance and thrust it into the Precious side of Christ.  Blood and water gushed forth.  He emptied Himself completely for us out of love.  Nothing was left in His body.  He had given everything He has for us so that we may be with Him for eternity. 

I find it incomprehensible that my future husband poured himself out like that for the entire world.  He emptied Himself for me before I was even conceived in my mother's womb.  Women always like to think that their future or current husbands would lay down their life for them out of love however, many husbands never are given this opportunity in such a literal way.  To know that my future husband already has and would do it all again...WOW! "God is Love. We eventually have to ask ourselves the question: why was Love nailed to a cross?" Pope John Paul II

I challenge you all to meditate upon the Passion this upcoming week as we approach Good Friday.  When one meditates and begins to comprehend the Passion one can begin to understand the Resurrection because without a Good Friday there would be no Easter. May God bless you all during this Holy Week! 

The Chrism Mass

Last Thursday, I took three of my teens down to the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral.  I had never been to a Chrism Mass before because it was always at least a three hour or more drive in Atlanta on a Thursday morning when I had class all day.  We arrived early as to get a good seat.  We patiently waited by praying Evening Prayer and quietly talking to one another.

Then the Mass began.  The bowl of incense was first, then the acolytes with candles, the lectors, and people who would be bringing up the oil later on in the Mass then all of the priests of the diocese, then deacons, and then finally Bishop Kinney with his crosier (aka staff) and his mitre (the tall hat).  The Liturgy of the Word went on as it normally does.  Then came time for the homily.  Bishop Kinney stressed our need for priests.  Even though there seems to be a lot of them the Church is in desperate need for them.  He also told how Christ gave His entire self to us.  He poured out everything that He had for us.  Out of His side water and blood gushed when the lance was thrust into His side.  Christ emptied Himself for us and we need to do the same for Him.  We need to empty ourselves and allow Christ to fills us. He reminded us that our priests need our prayers because they are constantly called to sacrifice their lives for Christ and they joyfully do it.  He then told us a story:  There were two priests in Baghdad, Iraq who were relatively new priests.  One was hearing Confessions and the other was saying Mass.  Terrorist came into the cathedral and began threatening the parishioners and the priests.  The young priests tried to reason with the terrorist and offer their lives if only they would let the people leave and go home.  Unfortunately, over 50 people were martyred that day including the two priests. They died for their faith because they fully knew that their faith was worth dying for.  Christ was worth dying for.

Then all of the priests stood and renew their vows.  Offering themselves, once again, to the service of the Church and Her people.  It was amazing hearing all of the priests say together that they will continue to do what God has called them to do.  We , as an assembly, promised to pray for our priests.  Then it was time for the blessing of oils.  Oil has been used through the centuries, dating back to the Jewish people, for anointing .  Exodus 30:22-33 :

Moreover the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: “Also take for yourself quality spices—five hundred shekels of liquid myrrh, half as much sweet-smelling cinnamon (two hundred and fifty shekels), two hundred and fifty shekels of sweet-smelling cane, five hundred shekels of cassia, according to the shekel of the sanctuary, and a hin of olive oil. And you shall make from these a holy anointing oil… And you shall anoint Aaron and his sons, and consecrate them, that they may minister to Me as priests.

 

The bishop blessed the oils and spoke a little bit about each one.  The first was the oil for the sick which is used to anoint people who are sick and dying.  (James 5:14) The second oil is the catechumens.  This oil is used prior to baptism.  It is the oil that is rubbed on a person's chest.  The third is the oil of Chrism . This oil is perfumed and is used at baptisms, confirmation, and ordinations.

Then we continued to the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  Two religious sisters, a Franciscan and a Benedictine (no habits) brought up the gifts.  Watching all the priests consecrating the hosts and saying the Eucharistic prayer was amazing!  To see all of these holy men doing what God called them to do.  God is so faithful let us continue to pray for our priests. 

The Way of the Cross

"We adore you Christ and we praise you because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world."  During the season of Lent most parishes offer Stations of the Cross also known as The Way of the Cross.  We meditate on the Passion of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  We walk with him from the beginning when He is condemned to death all the way to when He is buried in the tomb.  But most people do not know the history of the Stations.  Last Wednesday we prayed the Stations with my teens but prior to that I gave them a very brief history lesson of the Stations...


The Stations are a pilgrimage in spirit to Jerusalem and meditating along the path that Christ walked.  It was said in Tradition that the Blessed Mother use to walk this path daily and recall the Passion of her Beloved Son.  Saints in the 3rd and 4th century remarked that hundreds of pilgrims a day could be found walking this path as well and stopping at points along the path as they meditated on the Passion and prayed for Christ's assistance.  It was not until St. Francis that it became a chapel devotion.  This chapel devotion spread throughout medieval Europe very quickly.

There are two sets of stations...Traditional and Scriptural
The Traditional:

1. Jesus is condemned to death.
2. Jesus is given his cross
3. Jesus falls the first time
4. Jesus meets His Mother
5. Simon of Cyrene carries the cross
6. Veronica wipes the face of Jesus
7. Jesus falls the second time
8. Jesus meets the daughters of Jerusalem
9. Jesus falls the third time
10. Jesus is stripped of His garments
11. Crucifixion: Jesus is nailed to the cross
12. Jesus dies on the cross
13. Jesus' body is removed from the cross and placed in the arms of His mother. 
14. Jesus is laid in the tomb

Pope John Paul II introduced a Scriptural Way of the Cross in 1991 and in 2007 Pope Benedict XVI approved them for public celebration.

1. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane,
2. Jesus is betrayed by Judas and arrested,
3. Jesus is condemned by the Sanhedrin,
4. Jesus is denied by Peter,
5. Jesus is judged by Pilate,
6. Jesus is scourged and crowned with thorns,
7. Jesus takes up His cross,
8. Jesus is helped by Simon to carry His cross,
9. Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem,
10. Jesus is crucified,
11. Jesus promises His kingdom to the repentant thief,
12. Jesus entrusts Mary and John to each other,
13. Jesus dies on the cross,
14. Jesus is laid in the tomb.

Even though Stations are typically only prayed during Lent I have felt a deep yearning to continue to pray them after Lent.  It is a very humbling journey to walk with Christ.  To see the pain and the suffering that He went through for us.  At anytime during this journey He could have easily called ten thousand angels to come and take His place.  But He loves us so much that He knew that this was the only thing that could save us from our sinful nature.  It still amazes me!

Does not call the Sanctified...

This past week has been busy one with things going on with Life Teen and Edge, the Vocations Mass, Confirmation with the bishop, and now that Palm Sunday is coming upon us!  Wow!  This Lent has flown by. 

I have also have been taking more time with the Eucharist; whether it be in Adoration, praying in the Eucharistic Chapel or at daily Mass.  My love for the Eucharist continues to grow the more time that I spend with Him.  I feel as if He is inviting me closer to Him each and every time I go to pray with Him.  He is inviting me to get to know Him better through Scripture, prayers of the Church, and silence.  Silence has been a blessing since the beginning of my discernment process.  Someone once told me that God speaks the in the language of silence.  Silence is such a hard thing to get sometimes because of the world.  Phones are ringing, choir practice, the person next door is blaring their music a little too loud, cars are honking their horns, if you live in Minnesota, the geese are honking and so on and so forth.  But silence is where you can hear God clearly.  Once distractions are removed it is just you and Him.

When I first started discerning I heard God saying "Will you marry me?" which was beyond humbling but scary at the same time.  Now that I have applied, I no longer hear "Will you marry me?" but "Well done my good and faithful servant."  Which is still humbling and scary. Sometimes I wonder why Christ asked me to be His bride.  I am not perfect.  I am not more holy.   Then I remember what St. Francis said, “I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.”  God is merciful and loving. God always seems to chose the most unfitting people for His work.  He called Francis who was a wealthy son of a fabric merchant who in the beginning, wanted only to be a knight.  He desired wealth and women; He partied a lot and consumed too much alcohol on occasion.  But he had a conversion.  He lived his life the way the Gospel instructs us to and many came to follow in His footsteps.  Then St. Augustine, he was probably worse than Francis.  He enjoyed women, alcohol, money etc.  He had a child out of wedlock which was incredibly scandalous back then.  His dear mother, St. Monica, prayed for her husband and her son's conversions.  They both had them.  Her husband had his on his deathbed but Augustine went on to be one of the most well known saints.  He wrote "The Confessions" which is wonderful.  Then of course you have Paul who we meet in Acts.  He was persecuting the Christ followers.  He was killing them and tearing families apart.  He was knocked off of his horse and blinded and had to be lead to Damascus where the scales on His eyes fell off and He could clearly see.  He preached the Gospel far and wide and brought many people to Christ.  And of course Mary Magdalene, she was said to have 7 demons in her and lived a questionable lifestyle.  But once she met Christ her life changed dramatically to show the glory of God.  All of these saints and many more of them are an inspiration to me. They show us that it is possible to do God's work even if we are not the most plausible choice.   Sr. Mary Michael told me once, "God does not call the sanctified but sanctifies the called."  That is a very reassuring thought as this journey continues.  


God bless as we continue the journey through the desert this Lent! 

Things I learned from Trouble with Angels...

This post is on the humorous side...The last two days I have been watching "Trouble with Angels" and "Where Angels Go Trouble Follows"  The Sisters recommended this movie to me during my last trip!  It is absolutely hilarious!  It makes me smile!  Here are some of things that might be useful upon entrance...

1. Sisters may not find it amusing to have bubble bath put into their coffee even though it would be awfully entertaining!  Do not mess with a Sister's coffee! They love their coffee!

2. Don't get on the bad side of Reverend Mother...period! (I am not sure if there is a difference between a Reverend Mother and a Superior General/Regional Superior but for all intensive purposes lets say not to irritate any of the above)

3. Don't try to sneak into the cloistered area of the convent...you will be caught. 

4. Living in Community takes a lot of grace and patience! :D

5. Even a spunky and mischievous young woman could become a Sister! (There is hope for me yet...just kidding)

6. Habits do not make optimal swim wear...

7. Going on a roller coaster in a habit might be a bit troublesome...how would you keep the veil on?  It still would be pretty awesome though!  It makes me laugh just thinking about it. :)

8. Sisters are REAL people and they really do care about the people they work with but we already knew that... :D

9. Don't call a Sister a penguin!!!

10. And last but not least...SISTERS ARE AMAZING WOMEN OF GOD!!!!! Especially these sisters...

"Jesus, I Trust in You!"

Four years ago today, I was initiated into the Roman Catholic.  I had found my home and I was now a full member of the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church.  I cannot believe that it has been that long ago.  It seems like just yesterday that I was talking to Fr. Michael and asking him about joining the Church and then a few short months later receiving the graces of Baptism and Confirmation and finally being able to receive Jesus, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, in the Eucharist.

 One of the parishioners told me that night that a chapter of my life was ending and a new chapter was beginning.  It was not really an end to the journey but really just a beginning.  I was not really sure what she meant at the time but I have come to understand.  When I was baptized I was given new life in Christ.  I now had to be Catholic.  I had to live out my Catholic faith.  I was now responsible for my faith.  I could not just sit around and claim that I am Catholic without the response.  Being Christian requires that response.  We are not called to just sit around saying we are Christian but to respond with love.  Our faith is dead without our works, our response:

"What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?  Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.  But someone may well say, "You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works."  You believe that God is one You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder.  But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless?  Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up Isaac his son on the altar?  You see that faith was working with his works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected; and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, "AND ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS RECKONED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS," and he was called the friend of God.  You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone. In the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way?  For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead." James 2:14-26

 I have tried to respond to God's call each and everyday and it has been a wonderful journey.  That is not saying that the road has not been a rocky one at times.  I am human and life is messy but all in all it has been wonderful.  Even at those rocky moments knowing that I was no longer having to rely on my own strength and allowing God to work through me has been amazing!  I am just an instrument, a compass if you will, trying to always point toward God in all that I do and all that I say. 

I have come to point in my walk with Christ that all I can say about my future is "Jesus, I Trust in You!"  His plans are always better than ours.

The Skirt Battle...and Human Dignity

This post is less about the Sisters but a mere realization.  Lately, I feel like I'm called to wear more skirts and dresses versus always wearing jeans or khaki pants. Maybe it is because the weather is finally warming up here in Minnesota or maybe it is because I desire to dress more feminine; whatever the reason may be, it means that I needed to purchase a few more skirts.  I own like three and two of them are not for everyday.  So, for the past week or so I have been on the hunt; I have tried department stores, thrift stores, online stores and everything in between.  I have talked to friends and towns people and no such luck to find the long skirts that I desired.  I did find a really cute and simple black skirt that goes to my knees which was a $3 find and looks great with leggings!  WooHoo! But here is what I found out while doing my shopping...

1. It is impossible to find a long skirt that does not make woman in her early twenties look like she is a 50 year old.  I may like to dress conservatively but I do not want to look like I am twice my age. Jussayin'
2. If you do happen to find a long skirt whose pattern is age appropriate don't forget to look at the side of said skirt.  There is probably a slit going halfway up which makes it no longer appealing and modest.  Small slits are fine but ones all the way up past the knee not so much!
3. People are no longer aware of the dignity of the human person.  Skirts and fashion as a whole now a days are cut way to short or way to low.  

*Step onto soap box*
People are telling our young people that their dignity is based on what they wear and how much skin they show or how they look or how they do their hair etc..  Our dignity does not come from our outward appearances but from God alone.  We have dignity because we are all created in His image and likeness.  That is really amazing if you think about it.  Society tries to objectify, make us like objects, and put a price on our worth.  But really our worth can only be deemed by God alone because He is our creator and knows us intimately.  Our worth does not matter if we are fat or thin, blond or brunette or if you have fair skin or a nice deep tan.  None of this matters when we look at our worth and our dignity.  And yet we allow society to tell us to that we are only worth what people say we are worth.  You are priceless in the eyes of God.  God thought that we had so much dignity that He died for us in one of the least dignified ways, on a Cross.  He is worthy of our praise and love and yet He died for us so that we could live with Him forever.  Wow!  That still amazes me...EVERYONE has worth from the moment of conception to natural death. :)
*Steps off soap box*

So Why The Panhandle Franciscans?

Another question that I have received is, "Why this particular community?" This I suppose must start at the very beginning of the discernment process.  When I began this journey my junior year I knew that the community had to have a few select things including:

1.  A Habit-I desired a habit.  My thought was that if I am going to be a sister, I want to look like one. My reasoning has changed since then but we will address that later...
2. I wanted an order that taught and did youth ministry/faith formation.
3. I wanted them to have younger sisters...if that even existed, I was doubtful in the beginning.  I have been proven wrong since the initial judgment...
4. I wanted an order that was joyful and happy...I was not sure if that existed either. 
5. And most importantly I wanted a community that was active! I did not want a cloistered community. 

I realize now that my priorities were not exactly how they should have been but God used my willingness and eagerness to learn to mold what I desire in a community.  So know this is what I desire in a community and how the Panhandle Franciscans fulfill all of the "requirements" that I have.

1. PRAYER-This has become the most important aspect when looking at a community.  Without a strong prayer life then how am I to build that relationship to Christ, who will be my spouse. Also as a Sister, one is called to prayer, to pray for the Church, for the world, for the conversion of souls etc.  The School Sisters typically pray at least 4 times together;  morning, noon, evening, and night using the prayer of the Church, the Liturgy of the Hours.  I also desired a community that had Mass everyday or close to everyday.  The School Sisters have Mass everyday even if they have to drive 15ish miles to another parish.  They recognize the importance of the Mass and intimately receiving Christ each and every day.  Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament also became an important piece of prayer that I knew that I wanted to have on a consistent basis.  I thought that by looking at communities with "Perpetual Adoration" in their name that would mean that they would have Adoration daily or almost daily but unfortunately many of them did not.  The School Sisters have Adoration almost daily if not daily...I can't remember.  Adoration is crucial because it is our chance to adore Christ in the Blessed Sacrament and allow Him to love on us in return.  We stare into His Soul as He looks into ours.  There is an intimate connection between the Adorer and the Adoree.  It is such a beautiful thing.     
2. The Habit-Yes, that remained high on my list of important things.  Some people may think it is silly but I truly think that God uses the habit to draw people to a particular community. I want a habit because it would be a "sign of consecration and as a testimony of poverty" (Canon 669, 1) (Yes I did just quote some cannon law) It is also a Sister's wedding dress as she is a Bride of Christ...what woman does not dream of wearing a wedding dress.  A Sister gets to wear her's everyday!  I absolutely love the habit of the School Sisters.  Last time I was there I learned how to wash the habits which was very interesting and I was amazed by the habit.  I deeply desire the habit. Sister Mary Grace said "That wearing a habit is like wearing a billboard for Christ."  It truly is when you are wearing the habit you are a direct reflection of Christ.  There is no hiding it.  Even people who are not Christians recognize the habit and know that you have given your life for Christ.
3. Community-The Community was also important.  I still maintained that I wanted a community that was genuinely joyful and desired to love. I also wanted a community that knew how to have fun with each other.  I also wanted a community that had a variety of ages of Sisters.  The older Sisters have lots of wisdom that they can share with the younger Sisters.  However, I did not want a community where it was all elderly Sisters. I also wanted a community where I knew all the Sisters.  I did not want to be in a community so large that I could not learn all of the names and actually get to know them.  I think I found all of these things in this community...
4. Apostolates-I also wanted a community whose apostolates were education and youth ministry. You would think that this would be easy however, it was not.  I could typically find one or the other or the Sisters really did not show the passion for either of them.  I wanted the Sisters to be passionate about educating the youth and leading them closer to Christ.  The School Sisters definitely have this passion and this love for the youth!
5. Balanced Lifestyle: I wanted to make sure that the community had a balanced life.  One of prayer, work, and fun.  I did not want all prayer and no work or all work and little prayer.  I wanted a nice balance.  And this balance is relative; it all depends on the person and finding that fit for you.   
6. Marian: I wanted a community that loved Mary!  She is the Mother of God who is always interceding for us.  When a woman becomes a postulant she prepares and makes a simple consecration to the Blessed Mother.  When a woman enters the novitiate she chooses a new name and it has Mary or a form of Mary in it.  They also pray the Angelus three times a day, The Memorare, and the Most Holy Rosary daily.  I am sure I am missing other Marian points too. 

There are many other reasons that I feel called to the School Sisters but all will be revealed in time. 

This is the video that I made after my trip to Texas in March.  It really shows why I love them so much!  

Life Line in the Cities

This Saturday we went to the Cities for the Life Line.  It began with an amazing Mass which we discussed spiritual blindness. The actual Lifeline discussion this month was worship in the context of Holy Week which is coming upon us soon. Holy week is an ongoing liturgy that begins on Holy Thursday, then Good Friday, and then to the Resurrection which begins at the Easter Vigil on Saturday night.  These three liturgies are intimately intertwined. If one has never gone to all three of these liturgies you should!  As always this is a combination of notes and personal reflections upon what the speaker said and what happened. So let us begin...

What is worship?  Worship is when one realizes that God gave everything for you and you are giving oneself back to God.  Wow!  We are called to worship Christ constantly which means we are called to be constantly giving oneself back to God.  So many times we throw the phrase "Praise and Worship" around without full understanding what we are saying or doing.  How many time do we go to "Praise and Worship" just because we like the music or our friends are going or because it makes us feel good?  Worship does not always mean music. Yes, music is a beautiful way to worship Christ but it is not the only way.  When we pray we are worshiping Christ.  And the central act of worship in the Catholic Church is the Mass. At the Mass, we get to worship Christ, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity.  Not only do we get to worship Him but we are allowed to receive Him into our bodies. What a beautiful gift! His Body becomes a part of our body.  His Precious Body and Blood nourishes our body but more importantly our soul.  How awesome is that to know that God is in you physically not just spiritually? 

HOLY THURSDAY

Now that we have a better understanding of what worship is let us move to Holy Thursday.  On Holy Thursday we celebrate the Last Supper. Let us first start with the Gospel of Mark...

On the first day of Unleavened Bread, when the Passover lamb was being sacrificed, His disciples said to Him, "Where do You want us to go and prepare for You to eat the Passover?"And He sent two of His disciples and said to them, "Go into the city, and a man will meet you carrying a pitcher of water; follow him; and wherever he enters, say to the owner of the house, 'The Teacher says, "Where is My guest room in which I may eat the Passover with My disciples?"' "And he himself will show you a large upper room furnished and ready; prepare for us there."The disciples went out and came to the city, and found it just as He had told them; and they prepared the Passover.When it was evening He came with the twelve.As they were reclining at the table and eating, Jesus said, "Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me--one who is eating with Me."They began to be grieved and to say to Him one by one, "Surely not I?"And He said to them, "It is one of the twelve, one who dips with Me in the bowl. "For the Son of Man is to go just as it is written of Him; but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born." While they were eating, He took some bread, and after a blessing He broke it, and gave it to them, and said, "Take it; this is My body."And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, and they all drank from it.And He said to them, "This is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many"

 The Jewish people celebrated the Passover to commemorate when God led the Israelites out of Egypt.  This was a time when God made the first covenant. He told the the Isrealites that "I am your God and you are my people"  This was the beginning of a relationship with the Isrealites.  

Jesus changed the Passover meal dramatically and He made it into the Last Supper, the Initiation of the Eucharist.  He became the New Covenant.  He made it possible for us to have a relationship with God.  

Now at the Last Supper Jesus said "Eat my body and drink my blood" this statement would have been empty if it was not for the cross he would later endure because at the Cross he gave up His body for us and poured out His blood for us. The Eucharist and the Cross are both gifts that are freely given to us from Christ.   The cross and the Eucharist are intimately connected without either of these the other does not make sense.  The connection between the two is amazing to meditate on. 

"The Body of Christ" "Amen"  That "amen" becomes such an automatic response when receiving Communion do we really know what it means?   We don't translate this word because it has so many meanings.  Some of them include: "Yes, I believe!", "Let it be done unto me.", "I want to live for you" are just a few the speaker mentioned.  Amen is a covenant word.  A word that invites us to have a relationship with Christ. St. Augustine said that when we receive communion we need to pause and be ready to lay down our lives for Christ just as He laid down His life for us.  Are we ready to do that when we say "amen"?  Are we ready to die for Christ as He died for us?  Pause for a moment before receiving the Eucharist next time and fully ask yourself those questions.  Remember when you are saying Amen you are saying "Lord Jesus I fully believe that you are present in the Eucharist, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity and I am willing to live for you and to die for you do with me as you will."

The presenter then asked us to enter into a time for worship and to lay all of our faults, sins, hurts etc. at the feet of Jesus and the band played this song... Lay it Down Jesus was so present in that room!  Teens were lifting their hands toward the massive crucifix on the wall.  You saw some walls being torn down and they were truly laying their burdens down at Christ's feet!  It was a beautiful sight.

THE AGONY IN THE GARDEN

The Agony in the Garden shows the extent at which Christ loves us and His desire to do the Father's will not His own.  Let us continue reading what the Gospel of Mark has to say...

 They came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here until I have prayed."And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. And He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch." And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, "Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will." And He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, "Simon, are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? "Keep watching and praying that you may not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Again He went away and prayed, saying the same words.
 And again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him. And He came the third time, and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? It is enough; the hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. "Get up, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!" Immediately while He was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, came up accompanied by a crowd with swords and clubs, who were from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. Now he who was betraying Him had given them a signal, saying, "Whomever I kiss, He is the one; seize Him and lead Him away under guard." After coming, Judas immediately went to Him, saying, "Rabbi!" and kissed Him. They laid hands on Him and seized Him. But one of those who stood by drew his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest and cut off his ear. And Jesus said to them, "Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me, as you would against a robber?  "Every day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not seize Me; but this has taken place to fulfill the Scriptures." And they all left Him and fled. 

The presented posed an interesting questions, "How do you think Peter, James and John felt?"  These three have always seen Jesus in control of the situation.  They have never seen Him cry out to the Father as He was doing while in the Garden.  Never once have they seen Him sweating blood through His skin.  That is why they slept because they could not deal with the reality of the suffering that Jesus was experiencing at this time. I could only imagine how it felt for them to see their master in this state and they could do nothing to help Him.  

There are many lessons that one can learn from Christ during the Agony in the Garden.  One of them being, how to pray in your most desperate times. Christ knew he was going to be betrayed with a kiss by Judas and then handed over to the Pharisees.  Instead of escaping He prayed.  He cried out to God the Father.  He was feeling the weight of the sins of the whole world on His shoulders.  He continued to pray! His prayer was one of complete surrender to the Father's will.  He asked that the Father remove the cup from Him but He also prayed that He would do the Father's will not His own.  In our own life we need to remember to do God's will not our own even in times of trial.  It is important in our own prayer that we pray both parts. "I want what you want"  It is amazing when our prayer life goes from always asking God for our wants to asking God what He wants and being open to His answer.  I was reflecting on this because it was when my prayer started making that shift was when I  began being more open to what God wanted concerning my vocation.  I was more able to hear Him and His will.  We need to be constantly asking the Father what He wants.  

The presenter then challenged us to always remember to praise God even in the hard times because He is always there. Sonar played this song for us to worship with: Blessed Be Your Name but they did tone it way down to keep with the soft meditative feel.  Once again the Spirit was moving in the crowd and people were responding. I could still sense that some teens were holding back and not allowing God to do His work in them.  He is a gentleman and will wait and as always He did.  

JUDGMENT AND SUFFERING OF JESUS

We have now come to Good Friday. This is the only day in the year that Mass is not being celebrated anywhere around the world.  Good Friday is the day we remember the suffering and death of Christ.  Let us look now at the Gospel of John..

Therefore Pilate entered again into the Praetorium, and summoned Jesus and said to Him, "Are You the King of the Jews?" Jesus answered, "Are you saying this on your own initiative, or did others tell you about Me?" Pilate answered, "I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests delivered You to me; what have You done?" Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm." Therefore Pilate said to Him, "So You are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say correctly that I am a king For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth everyone who is of the truth hears My voice." Pilate said to Him, "What is truth?" And when he had said this, he went out again to the Jews and said to them, "I find no guilt in Him. But you have a custom that I release someone for you at the Passover; do you wish then that I release for you the King of the Jews?" So they cried out again, saying, "Not this Man, but Barabbas." Now Barabbas was a robber. Pilate then took Jesus and scourged Him. And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on His head, and put a purple robe on Him; and they began to come up to Him and say, "Hail, King of the Jews!" and to give Him slaps in the face. Pilate came out again and said to them, "Behold, I am bringing Him out to you so that you may know that I find no guilt in Him." Jesus then came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, "Behold, the Man!"  So when the chief priests and the officers saw Him, they cried out saying, "Crucify, crucify!" Pilate said to them, "Take Him yourselves and crucify Him, for I find no guilt in Him." The Jews answered him, "We have a law, and by that law He ought to die because He made Himself out to be the Son of God." Therefore when Pilate heard this statement, he was even more afraid; and he entered into the Praetorium again and said to Jesus, "Where are You from?" But Jesus gave him no answer. So Pilate said to Him, "You do not speak to me? Do You not know that I have authority to release You, and I have authority to crucify You?" Jesus answered, "You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above; for this reason he who delivered Me to you has the greater sin." As a result of this Pilate made efforts to release Him, but the Jews cried out saying, "If you release this Man, you are no friend of Caesar; everyone who makes himself out to be a king opposes Caesar." Therefore when Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus out, and sat down on the judgment seat at a place called The Pavement, but in Hebrew, Gabbatha. Now it was the day of preparation for the Passover; it was about the sixth hour And he said to the Jews, "Behold, your King!" So they cried out, "Away with Him, away with Him, crucify Him!" Pilate said to them, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests answered, "We have no king but Caesar." So he then handed Him over to them to be crucified. They took Jesus, therefore, and He went out, bearing His own cross, to the place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha. There they crucified Him, and with Him two other men, one on either side, and Jesus in between.  Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It was written, "JESUS THE NAZARENE, THE KING OF THE JEWS." Therefore many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Latin and in Greek.  So the chief priests of the Jews were saying to Pilate, "Do not write, 'The King of the Jews'; but that He said, 'I am King of the Jews.'" Pilate answered, "What I have written I have written." Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took His outer garments and made four parts, a part to every soldier and also the tunic; now the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece. So they said to one another, "Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it, to decide whose it shall be"; this was to fulfill the Scripture: "THEY DIVIDED MY OUTER GARMENTS AMONG THEM, AND FOR MY CLOTHING THEY CAST LOTS." Therefore the soldiers did these things. But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, "Woman, behold, your son!" Then He said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" From that hour the disciple took her into his own household. After this, Jesus, knowing that all things had already been accomplished, to fulfill the Scripture, said, "I am thirsty."  A jar full of sour wine was standing there; so they put a sponge full of the sour wine upon a branch of hyssop and brought it up to His mouth. Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, "It is finished!" And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.

 Wow! This Gospel is passage is always so moving.  To know that Christ had to suffer like this for all of us so that we may have life.  It truly astonishes me.  

We notice that once Jesus surrenders to what His fate is to be he has a sense of peace knowing that He is doing this out of love for each one of us.  His love and the love of the Father called for a pure sacrifice because He knew that we could not do it on our own.  

Suffering is measured by the person's ability to suffer.  Suffering is all relative to the person.  Christ, because He is both fully man and fully God (the hypostatic union), suffered more than anyone else. His creation is condemning Him to die.  He created Pilate, he created the one's shouting "Crucify him", He created the pharisees, he created you and I.  And He suffered for all of us, His creation.  He suffered out of love for us.  How amazing is that love.  He calls each and everyone of us to His love and all He asks in return for that love is our love.  We are called to love and to be loved!   

At anytime during His suffering He could have ended it.  He could have called ten thousand angels down but alas He did not get distracted.  He desired to suffer out of love for His creation.  Each moment He was walking to Golgotha and every moment He was on the cross He was remembering us, His beloved.  He desired us to be free from sin.  He poured everything He was out for us.  He used His whole body to suffer and die for us so we should use our whole body to worship Him.  In everything that we do we need to be honoring Him and expressing our gratitude for His gift.  

Then Sonar played Amazing Love.

Many people finally opened up and allowed God's love to just come as a flood over them.  They allowed His peace to swell up in them.  People began worshiping with their whole bodies.  It was a beautiful thing but not the most beautiful thing the whole evening; that was about to come...

The priest then asked us all to kneel as he went to go get the Blessed Sacrament for Adoration.  He asked us to prepare our hearts.  To reflect and meditate on the Amazing Love that Christ has for each of us.  The time between when he left and when he brought Jesus into the room felt like an eternity.  My whole body yearned to see Him, my Savior, my Love, my One Desire.  Despite the fact that the gym floor was hard and cold, my body never once wanted to stop kneeling in anxious anticipation of Christ.  The moment that I first saw the monstrance coming in from the far end of the room I knew that the moment of waiting was over.  He was physically present in our midst.  As I gazed upon Him as the priest said an opening prayer all I could think about was His love and how beautiful He was.  His love allows me to do everything that I do, including simply taking a breath.  Then Sonar began playing one of my favorite Christian songs, How He Loves Us, this song always makes me think of how amazing God's love is.  It does not matter how many times I hear it.  God's love began to fill up my entire body and all I could do was smile and look at the Blessed Sacrament with love. 

We then entered a time of silence and I remember just telling Jesus how much that I loved Him and thanked Him for all that He has done.  I kept asking the Holy Spirit to come upon all those in this room.  The priest then told us that silence is valuable but sometimes it is important to say our prayers out loud.  He invited us all to begin praying out loud and the room came alive with whispers of the prayers that people were saying.  A year ago, I would not have been able to do this and would have felt very uncomfortable but this time I was able to trust God and give Him my worship freely.  I was allowing the Holy Spirit to be a part of my worship and my prayer.  Then the lead singer of Sonar began playing chords and lifting his voice in praise to our God.  The priest then invited us to do the same thing. This past month I have been struggling with my voice to keep a pure and consistent tone, the joys of being sick, and I was able to as I sung my praise to God.  I do not remember all that I prayed but it was a wonderful feeling.  I was then given the gift of laughter and joy.  I am not terribly charismatic so this was definitely a new experience for me but a good one that is for sure. I could not stop laughing and smiling and having this feeling of joy and pure happiness.  I know that this joy can only come from God alone. We worshiped God with music for a few more songs ending with Fire Fall Down which had almost everyone standing and reaching out toward the monstrance desiring nothing but Christ.  The Holy Spirit was really working on all those in the room.  Words cannot describe the emotion in that room. WOW!!!

Then at the end of the song we were all asked to kneel as the Benediction, the Divine Praises, and closing prayer were done and then Jesus was taken out of the room but as the Blessed Sacrament passed the people many were moved to reach out toward the Blessed Sacrament as if to touch the monstrance even if they were so very far from it.  We then closed with Mighty to Save.  As the night closed we were all reminded that God loves us so much and that we need to be constantly praising His name and loving Him.  It was an amazing night as always!  

The Next Step

So many people have been wondering what the next step is for me.  How long does it take to be a Sister?  When do I receive the habit and new name?  Do you go to nun school?  So I figured I could answer some of these questions.

There are three or four Sisters who make up the formation team that will help me learn about the Scriptures, Franciscan writings and tradition, the charism of the Mother Foundress, the lives of the saints, and the documents of the Church and of the Order. The Evangelical Counsels, Mariology, writings of the spiritual masters, Church History, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, prayer, and the Theology of the Body are also a part of formation.

I will first be a ...

• Candidate-this means that I will be allowed to enter and live in the community.  I will begin learning about religious life, the charism of the community, and St. Francis
• Postulant: I will prepare for and make a simple consecration to the Blessed Virgin Mother. I will continue learning about the Holy Rule, the documents of the Congregation, elements of prayer life, the Catechism, and Scripture. 
• Novice: I will receive the habit!!!! At this point I would wear a white veil instead of a black one. My cincture, like a belt sort of, has no knots to show that she is not yet subject to vows. She receives her new religious name. I will continue to learn and try to live out what I am learning.
• Juniorate: At this point it will be around 3 years since my entrance.  At this time I would be professing the temporary vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience according to the Rule and Constitutions. I will repeat these vows annually twice more and then make vows for a final two year period before formally requesting her final vows for a total for four years!

The Beginning

I have a desire to write. So, I am going to write about the upcoming events in my life.  I have been accepted to the School Sisters of St. Francis in Panhandle, Texas.  I will hopefully be entering the convent in the summer of 2012.  But I suppose we need to start in the beginning where all good stories start. 

I was not raised in a religious family.  I knew there was a God but other than that God was not a part of my life.  I went through a series of unfortunate events which led me to believe that God was not a loving God.  With that attitude I moved to Dothan, Alabama where I was introduced to the Catholic Church and found what my heart was longing for.  I found a loving God; He was fully present in the Eucharist.

Four years later, I officially joined the Catholic Church and received the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and Communion on April 7, 2007 at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Milledgeville, Georgia.  In my junior year of college during the Easter Vigil Mass the idea of being a sister floated into my head.  I dismissed it as foolishness because  I wanted a nice Catholic husband and a house full of kids.  I continued to pray about what God wanted me to do.

That summer I went to Adoration weekly just to sit with the Blessed Sacrament and ask Him what He desired of me.  That summer, I also started wearing the chapel veil.  This led me to a deeper love of the Eucharist.  I did start dating a wonderful young man.  Maybe this was God saying that He did want me to be married.  I continued to pray and ask God what He wanted.  I continued to contact communities.  That summer I visited the School Sisters of St. Francis in Panhandle, Texas.  I was very nervous going there but once I arrived and settled in I fell in love with the Sisters.  But then it was time for me to leave.  I did not want to leave.

I then got a job in a little town in Minnesota as a youth minister.  By this time I was able to discern more closely that God is calling me to himself.  I asked for an application in December and returned it in February. I also scheduled another visit in March.  I was looking forward to this!  I felt like I was going home.  I was returning to were I belonged.  I spent almost a week there and loved every moment, well almost every moment.  The psychological evaluation was not all that enjoyable but it was necessary.

The day that I had to leave was very sad!  I did not want to leave.  I felt as if I was leaving my family once again.  I felt like this is where I was supposed to be.  I knew that my job was not done in Minnesota.  So, I returned back to my teens still unsure if I had been accepted or not.

Two weeks, or so later, I found out that I had been accepted!  Now that brings us to today.

I ask that you continue to pray for me as I go through this journey.  You are all in my prayers.