"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

So this is another question that I get quite often!  Who picks your name?  What are you going to pick?  Etc.

This is the deal with my religious name.  I will submit 3 names to the Regional Superior before I become a novice as I will receive it at that point.  Out of those 3 names the Superior can choose one of those names or pick another name for me.  That saint's feast day will become my feast day.  So, you are probably thinking what names am I considering...drum roll please.....

My first choice.....Sr. Mary Clara...I love St. Clare and how brave, humble, loving, and completely devoted to the Lord in prayer. She also had a joyful heart and a model of femininity.

 

The second name that I am considering now... Sr. Mary Rose for Our Lady of the Rosary/Our Lady of Victory. As I have progressed in my vocation  the Rosary and the Blessed Mother have helped me draw closer to her Son and to His will.  

And the third...this one has changed many many times.  I have thought about Faustina, Bernadette, and a slew of others but currently the one that has really stuck and sounds amazing...Sr. Mary Gabriel for the Archangel Gabriel.  He was the messenger of God who delivered the annunciation of the birth of Jesus to Mary.  I desire to be a messenger of God and to carry His words with me at all times.  

So what are your thoughts? 

You Can't Have Sex...What?

This is a question that I get on a rather frequent basis about the vow of celibacy...Many times people believe that it is a rejection or a denial of our sexuality.  In all reality it is a fulfillment of our God given sexuality.  But lets us begin in Scripture.

For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” (Mat. 9:12)

An "eunuch" is someone who cannot have physical sexual relations for one reason or another.  This scripture tells us that there are some people who are born unable to have sex, then there are people who man made unable to have sex (castration), and then people who chose to live a celibate life to further the kingdom of God.

First thing is first...we must talk about the nuptial meaning of the body.  However, we cannot do this without recognizing that our bodies are good and sexual relations are good!    The Lord created us male and female and using a beautiful spousal analogy He created us to be in a spousal relationship with Him out of His love for us.  Christ left his Father in Heaven and His mother, Mary, to be joined with His Bride, the Church, all out of love for us.  In Heaven there wont be anyone married to another (Matt. 22) but when we, hopefully, get to Heaven we will experience the marriage of the Lamb. (Rev. 19:7).  Our hearts desire to live in complete communion with God. Earthly marriage is preparation for the ultimate marriage in heaven. People who choose to be celibate they are in a way skipping over the earthly marriage to experience heavenly marriage here on earth. 

Now let us get back to celibacy for the kingdom. One does not accept celibacy for their sake it is for the sake of the Kingdom.  And not all people are called to live this particular vocation...if we all were then our species would die out pretty quickly.  It is also important to mention that neither vocation is better or more holy than the other and each vocation is needed for the other to succeed.  When one becomes unbalanced then the other becomes unbalanced and that is not good for anyone. 

Now let's look at another Scripture

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife--and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit." I Corinthians 7:32-34

This is another aspect of why women who are being called to an intimate and deep love relationship with the Lord live a celibate lifestyle.  It allows them to devote their entire lives to Christ and the Lord and make His concerns their concerns.  It allows them to pray as the ought and even more for those who cannot pray as they ought.  They are able to freely be the hands and feet of the Lord without having to be concerned about their family and worldly things.  To belong completely to the Lord and His service as His bride is such a beautiful calling but then again so is marriage!

The main thing to remember is that we are called to a life of holiness regardless if we are called to marriage, religious life, or the single life.  We are all called to love the Lord with our whole hearts, minds, and souls. Our first and primary vocation is the universal call to holiness!  "Be Not Afraid"  

A Little Snippet

I thought I would share a little snippet of something that just happened.  Before I go there, I must mention that the Lord really loves to send me little messages about my vocation and what He desires from me.  I have been working on two books and a packet for the Laboure Society, the organization that will be helping me fund raise so that I will be able to enter next year on time. It is a wonderful society!

Now for the snippet!  I was working on the "Your Vision Sheet" and most of the packet I have had to change it up a bit because most of their questions dealt with missionaries going overseas and not people entering religious life.  Now here is the question: "What is the personal vision God has given you to fulfill the Great Commission?"  I was praying with these questions because who else would my answers come from and the response that I received.  "Go and be My bride and love My young children by educating them in My ways with a joyful spirit in the way of St. Francis."

So if I was doubting even a bit this really confirmed my vocation to the School Sisters of St. Francis.  They love the Lord, they educate the young children in the way of the Lord and they do this all with a joyful spirit in the ways of St. Francis!  

The Lord is so faithful and so amazing! Now I must get back to work on these worksheets!  Please pray for me this weekend as I go to this conference.  God bless you all!

On the Feast of St. Francis

Today is the Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi.  If I was with the Sisters we would be celebrating his feast day!  I cannot wait to be with the Sisters next year to celebrate it with them.  St. Francis of Assisi is a beloved saint and probably one of the most well known saints.  But most people do not know too much about him.  Many know that he is the patron saint of animals and pets or he is the "first hippie" but there is so much more behind this amazing man of God.

St. Francis was born in 1181 or 1182. He was born to a wealthy cloth merchant in Assisi, Italy.  Young Francis was a man of the world.  He wanted everything that the world could offer him and much more.  He was what you would call a party animal.  St. Francis also wanted to be knight!  So he went off to fight in Perguia and was defeated in that battle and taken prisoner.  He was held for a year before he was ransomed by his father.  After being nursed back to health, he went off to battle again because of his desire to be a knight. 

His father bought him expensive armor and clothes.  On his first night of his journey he had a dream to return to Assisi.   He followed the promptings and returned home to much taunting. He gave his armor to a poor solider who was not as lucky to have good armor on his way home. Francis returned to his past life but the Lord had been working on him. Francis no longer felt the same joy he did prior to his dream.  Francis began to pray more and was forced to wait upon the Lord to show him His will.  The Lord's grace was overwhelming his soul and was being filled with pure joy!  

On a ride through the country side, Francis saw a leper.  He would have been typically very turned off by the leper but instead he embraced the leper and kissed his hands.  He was instantly filled with joy!  As he got on his horse and road away and looked back the leper had disappeared.  The Lord had put him to the test and St. Francis passed the test.  

The Lord led him to a little run down country church, San Damiano.  While he was there the crucifix spoke to him saying "Francis, repair my church." Francis believed the Lord was asking him to rebuild San Damiano, the crumbling church he was sitting in.  Francis responded quickly and impulsively.  He went and took all the fabric from his father's business and sold them to raise money to help rebuild the church.  Once is father found out he took his son in front of the bishop and accused his son of theft. The bishop told him to return the money and that the Lord will provide.  With that Francis stripped everything off and said "Pietro Bernardone is no longer my father. From now on I can say with complete freedom, 'Our Father who art in heaven.'" Francis was a free man.  He took the brown rough habit of a beggar and retreated from the city back to San Damiano.  

Francis began begging for stones to rebuild the church.  As he went out and begged and preached, men began to join him because they desired his radical lifestyle.  Francis quickly recognized that he needed a direction for his little community.  He opened the Bible to three places, the story of the rich young man, Jesus telling his apostles to take nothing on their journey, and finally take up your cross daily.  He told his companions that this would be their rule.  His Rule was straight from the Gospel. 

St. Clare of Assisi asked to join the friars but Francis told her no because the life was too hard for her.  Eventually he prepared a place for her and she ran away from her family and joined the friars as a nun.  Soon many young women came to join her and the Order of the Poor Clares was started.

Men began to go out and preach the Gospel to others.  People at first were terrified of the beggars in rags.  But people were drawn to them because they were so joyful and this joy comes only from the Lord.  Francis had to go and ask the pope for permission to continue their community.  The pope sent him away at first because of his appearance but had a dream that told him to go and listen to this poor beggar.  The pope granted him permission to continue his community. 

Francis also traveled to Syria to convert the Muslims.  He knew that there was a good chance that he would be martyred but he survived and preached the Gospel to the sultan.  The sultan told Francis that he would convert but it would cost both of them their lives.

Many people know St. Francis as a nature lover and a friend to all creatures.  One of the stories that is often told about St. Francis was that he preached to the birds and they remained still and listening until he dismissed them.  Another story about Francis says that a wolf was terrorizing a village and killing it's residents.  St. Francis spoke to the wolf and told him to stop hurting the villagers.  The villagers provided the wolf with food and he never attacked again. 

Near the end of his life Francis prayed that he could share in Christ's passion and the Lord granted his prayer by having him receive the stigmata, the wounds of Christ.  After extreme poverty and wondering throughout the world he was struck with blindness and the bishop ordered that he be operated on and he prayed to "Brother Fire" to be merciful and when they cauterized his face he did not feel any pain.  Eventually, Francis died from his illnesses on October 4 1226 at the age of 45. 

On his feast day let us remember some of his wisest sayings:

"Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self."

"Grant me the treasure of sublime poverty: permit the distinctive sign of our order to be that it does not possess anything of its own beneath the sun, for the glory of your name, and that it have no other patrimony than begging."

"I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone"

"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men."

"No one is to be called an enemy, all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm. You have no enemy except yourselves."

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

"While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it even more fully in your heart."

"Preach the Gospel at all times, when necessary use words."

Nun Run

This past week I told myself and two of me teen girls on a Nun Run. A Nun Run is where a handful of girls go and visit a few convents for a short visit to each one.  We started at OLV parking lot all in one piece and ready for any exciting adventure down to Texas and  back up! As you can see by the picture we started out nice and perky and ready for anything. 

The first day, we went to Omaha, Nebraska.  We learned of the horrible flooding in Iowa and that general area.  We got rerouted because I-29 was closed for parts of it so we got to see a beautiful Iowan countryside.  There is lots of corn in Iowa.  We ate at Fatburger for supper and it was absolutely wonderful for a burger place.  

We then headed to our hotel for the night!  I had a really nice room but for some reason the girl's room was not as nice as mine.  The next morning we got up bright and early to head the Sisters of St. Francis of the Most Holy Eucharist.  They were a beautiful community. We got to spend some time with Sr. Mary Clare and the other Sisters.  We learned about their community, St. Francis, and how this particular community lives. One of their apostolates is sending things that are donated to people around the world. The crucifix is from their retreat house.  The girls rated this community number 2 on their rank of communities.The pictures are of different things around the convent and the girls with the Sisters...

 

The next morning we got up bright and early and did morning prayer with the community and had breakfast with them.  We were then heading out to Tulsa Oklahoma to visit the Benedictines there.  They were a great community as well.  Their main apostolate was teaching and nursing.  We met with Sr. Catherine and she had a few activities lined up for us to do with the community.  She taught us the difference between a monastery and a convent. She also taught us how to determine a St. Benedict statue.  We also learned about how Benedictines value community and hospitality.  There is always someone on call to answer the door if someone was to knock or ring the door bell.  That was really nifty.  They did do the Liturgy of the Hours a little different than I am use to. Sr. Catherine taught the girls how to make Rope Rosaries.  I really struggled with this but I was diligent and got 3 knots!  Oh yes!!!  (We wont discuss how the girls had pretty much finished at least one decade!)

The next morning we went off and started the long drive to Panhandle, Texas to visit my Sisters!  Now picture this...Brianna in the back making a Rosary, Nikki writing in her journal, Christian music playing in the background and all of a sudden blue lights...yes blue lights.  After getting to the right and pulling over a very nice state trooper came over and explained why he pulled me over...he had been following me for 1.5 miles and I had stayed in the left lane instead of getting over right away and Oklahoma had passed a law a few years ago that one must get over immediately after passing someone.  I am curious if he did not notice the MINNESOTA license plates.  Well he asked where we were headed and I told him "Panhandle, Texas to visit the School Sisters of St. Francis."  His response, "Sisters...like nuns."  Me: "Yeah, I will be entering that community in a year." Him: "So you're a nun." Me: "Not yet but in a year's time I will enter the community to be a nun."  Him: "Well I can't give a nun a ticket."  I just smile and he walked away with my license to check on everything.  Of course it was all good.  He approached the car again and asked how one becomes a Sister and talked a little longer about the Nun Run and told us he was Catholic and then asked us to pray for him and all three of us agree.  So, if you are reading this now stop here and say a quick prayer for this very kind and amazing officer. So in a way we were evangelizing on the highway.  

So after that I stayed in the right hand lane unless I was passing and then got over quickly.  Yes, I was paranoid for the entire trip.  We finally made it to Groom, Texas where there is a massive (19 stories tall) cross that can be seen from miles.  It is a Catholic thing but most people who come are Protestant.  There are the living Stations of the Cross, a replica of the Shroud of Turin, and some other really amazing statues.  It is a work in progress but almost complete.  

We meet up another group there and Sr. Mary Michael.  She brought her youth group to visit the Panhandle Franciscans too.  Here is a picture of all of us at the Cross...

Sr. Mary Michael also taught the girls how to finish the rosary which included teaching them how to use a lighter. (2nd picture)  Sr. Mary Michael, the girls and I all agree that rosary making is not one of my gifts.  I will let the girls do that.  The top picture is of Nikki and Sr. Celine.  Nikki accidentally sprayed Sr. Celine with the water hose while doing dishes.  The third picture is of Crystal, the newest Candidate to the School Sisters of St. Francis, and I doing our "Trouble with Angels" pose. And the last picture is all of us plus Sr. Mary Michael together. 

We then headed to Wichita where we spent a few short hours at a mall having a little bit too much fun! I think we scared a few folks.  Then to a yummy in the tummy dinner.

  And then we quickly hopped back on the road to head to our hotel for the evening. In this time we made a 3 minute potty break.  The girls had their seat belts off and the door open even before the car came to a complete stop.  By the time I unbuckled Brianna and Nikki were both out of the car and all three of us were literally running up to the bathroom.  We quickly did our business, washed hands and ran back to the car.  Yup we did it in three minutes.  The poor guy who was waiting for something must have thought we were nuts.  But it was fun times!

The next morning we headed to the Yankton Benedictines.  They were the largest and the only non-habited sisters.  All the other communities either had a habit or at least a veil.  We had a lot of fun with the Sisters.  We played games, talked, had supper, prayed with them and of course asked questions.  They took us to the dam that is right near by and wow!  It was something.  All of us got to ring the gong that usually calls people to prayer! 

The next morning we all jumped in the car and headed home to our nice beds!  We were thoroughly exhausted!Our after pictures!

The Stepping Stones

So I know it has been awhile since I have written.  I have been super busy with work, home, and life in general.  I have now moved to a beautiful apartment that I love...it has hot water!  Small victories in life.

I was challenged to write down my stepping stones to me belie am called to be a Sister by my Spiritual Director.  There are a great many stepping stones I am sure and some that I do not even know now but the Holy Spirit continues to reveal them to me as I continue to pray and ask Him for His guidance.  So I am going to try to go through some of these stepping stones now.

The first major stepping stone was first being introduced into the Church through a Life Teen Mass and a Life Night.  I felt a call to the Eucharist.  I knew that the Eucharist was not a something but a someone.  I continued to read Scripture and compare what the Church taught to the Scriptures.  It all made perfect sense. 

The next major stepping stone was when I went to a youth conference in Montgomery with my youth group. During Adoration I finally acknowledged that Christ loves me, died for me, and that He wanted me to be in full communion with His Church.  I supposed you could say "I let Him into my heart"  something the Protestants had been trying to get me to do up to this point.  This all happened on my 14th birthday.  It was the best birthday I could ask for.

The next stepping stone would be me coming into the Church.  It was April 7, 2007.  I was baptized, received the gifts of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation and then finally received Jesus, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in the Eucharist for the first time.  I was filled with His grace and love.  It was a magical night for me.  I knew that I was a new person.

The next stepping stone would be working with SHYNE.  I began to realize that I love working with teens and teaching them the faith.  I enjoyed being that spiritual mother to them (I did not know this is what I was doing at the time. I just thought that I was being a good friend to them)

Then I heard it!  I had just received Jesus in the Eucharist during the Easter Vigil 2 years after I came into the Church.  I do not remember what exactly I heard that time but I think it was as simple as God putting the idea of being a Sister into my head.  It kinda freaked me out at first because I am not worthy to be a Sister and i was still young in my faith.  Really young.  I was still a toddler if you wanted to think about it in that sense.  I remember not knowing what to do next.

So like a good daughter I go to my college dad, Deacon Cesar.  I went to him and explained to him what had happened and what I was thinking.  He then gave me a book to help look through communities and he told me to pray and to remember that just because I am thinking about it does not mean that I am supposed to be a Sister.

I started looking at different communities.  I filled out a form that was like a dating site only it matched the discerners with communities.  I received a lot of matches back and lots of email messages and mailings.  I was continued to search for communities that I was interested in and that I was drawn too.  At first I thought I wanted to be a Dominican but realized that they were missing the type of joy that I was looking for.  They had joy but not the type I wanted.

Then I stumbled upon the Panhandle Franciscans' website.  It made me cry as I looked at the pictures and watched the videos.  They had the joy that I wanted.  I remember sitting at the computer in tears and just praying and asking God if I could have that type of joy.  So I contacted them or they contacted me (not really sure) but as I began a relationship with Sr. Mary Michael I was beginning to see the joy.

I continued to pray and go to Adoration.  I kept hearing "Will you marry Me?" or "Will you be My bride?" or "Follow me!"  That seriously had an effect on me.  So I knew that I had to continue to discern.

During my senior year, I met a very nice gentleman and we began to date.  It was a very interesting relationship but I began to have doubts because I was still discerning religious life.
 
In the Summer of 2010 I went to visit the School Sisters which was a HUGE stepping stone.  I finally got to experience what it was like to be at a convent.  I got to see what it felt like to live among the Sisters.  I loved it there.  I was not one hundred percent sure that is where I was supposed to be.  However, I did have a wonderful conversation with Sr. Mary Ana.  She told me about convent life, being a Sister.  We talked about my story.  I remember her telling me that whenever I was ready I could ask for an application.  I told her at that time I was not ready.  I was sad to leave but alas it was time.

Then I moved to Minnesota to be a youth minister.  This is not how I planned my life to be like right out of college.  I was planning on being an elementary school teacher.  But God, as always, laughed at my plans and asked me to do what He desired of me and that meant to move to the "frozen tundra" aka Minnesota.  By living in Minnesota I have been given the space needed to discern and to recognize where God desires me to be. 

Then in November I broke up with the gentleman because it was obvious where God wanted me to be.  I got the overwhelming feeling that I needed to apply or at least have the application. I asked Sr. Mary Michael for one and received one in the mail and I was so excited


The next stepping stone was visiting again in March.  As I was traveling I was feeling as if i was going home not just visiting.

I applied and here we are now playing the waiting game for entrance!

I am sure there are more but as for now these are what I have come up with.  :) 

On the Slowness of God...

"The definition of wisdom is rejoicing in the slowness of God."  Fr. LeRoy told me this during my spiritual direction last week.  I have been meditating on this for the past couple of evenings before I go to bed.  It is really hard to be patient with God because even though I know His timing is better than mine I still would like this process to be complete.  I would like to know that I will be entering with no problems in July but God is making me be reliant on Him, completely.  

As most of you all know my acceptance is conditional upon getting my student loans taken care of before entrance.  I was hoping that I could start working on the rest of the Laboure Society's application process but I am now having to wait until September to finish the application which I started the day after I received my letter of acceptance.  They are redoing their forms and some processes this summer.  Then there is the Mater Ecclesiae which is a grant program as well. I cannot get the application until June 15th.  Then it is due by Nov. 15th and I would not hear anything until March 1, 2012 which would be 4 months prior to my entrance.  This makes me very nervous because it is so close to my entrance date. But I need to keep my trust in God and His plan.  If it is His will for me to be in Panhandle then He will make it happen.   

So "Rejoice in the slowness of God!"  May God bless you all!

Things are Starting to Change...

On Saturday I went to Fargo to go to the Catholic Stores, the book store, the mall, and then a movie.  I was really looking forward to spending the day doing things that I enjoyed!  I started the day off with Mass, Morning Prayer, and Adoration at the Cathedral.  I then had breakfast and read some of my book.  The day had started off really well.  I then headed to the Catholic book store to get graduation presents, pick up books and just look around.  I enjoyed my time there and I met a few seminarians.  It was great!  

I then decided to head to the mall to look for skirts and just hang out prior to going see "Soul Surfer".  I wandered around aimlessly not finding any enjoyment in just being there and around people.  I even wandered into a Christian Store and still was not enjoying myself as I usually do.  I felt my heart longing to go back to the cathedral to spend time with Him in perpetual Adoration.  I brushed it of and went and grabbed lunch and went to the bookstore.  I use to be able to spend hours upon hours at the book store and not even blink an eye.  But I could barely spend an hour there without growing really bored even though I was looking at books that I usually enjoy. 

It was finally time to go to the movies!  I enjoyed "Soul Surfer" and cried lots and lots during the movie.  It is a real tear jerker. Just warning you!

I suppose this detachment is God's way of preparing me for entering.  I am curious what will happen once I get closer to my entrance date if I am already starting to detach from things of this world.  All in God's time!

Patience is a Virtue

A common phrase is "Patience is a virtue" and my response has always been "A virtue I don't have."  I have patience with people, animals, etc but not with waiting for something that I desire. I have been thinking a lot lately about the next year and what it might hold for me.  I know that God has a reason for me not to enter this year as much as I would like to.  I know that God is preparing my heart and perfecting my will as I learn the virtue of patience among many others.  I also know that the Sisters are being prepared in their own special way.  As much as I feel united to them through prayer, I desire to be with them once again.  I am looking forward to the Nun Run this summer not only to spend time with the girls and showing them the beauty of religious life but also to show them the community that I have fallen in love with and of course see my Sisters once again! 

I continue to pray for my vocation and that the student loans that are holding me back from entering will be resolved shortly so that I do not have to worry about it in as much.  This is requiring me to trust in God completely and know that if God desires me to become a Sister then He will prepare the way and remove all the obstacles that are in my way right now.  God has begin to slowly move some of these obstacles and continues to show me a clear path.  I keep telling myself and Christ, "Jesus, I trust in You!"

A funny story, a Sister from the Franciscan community nearby approached Fr. Greg after Saturday night Mass and said that he needed to help get Franciscan sisters to come out of this parish.  He responded "Well, we do have a young woman who is entering a Franciscan community in the summer of 2012" Her response, "Great we will love having her" Fr. Greg. "She is actually going to Texas!"  This is something I have gotten a lot!  "Why don't you join the Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls?" They have the misconception that all communities are the same.  Despite the fact that they are a Franciscan community they are still very different than the School Sisters.  They no longer wear the habit and they do not live in community like I desire.  I could not imagine myself being a Sister and living by myself and no other Sisters.  Community life is important to me. 

I ask for your continued prayers and know that I am praying for you all as well! 

United in Prayer

This weekend I received the official acceptance letter and the community prayers among other things that are not as exciting, like a physical form.  I received this wonderful package of joy in the mail mid morning before I left for a series of errands which I am not to typically fond of doing but alas they had to get done.

Once I received this packet of goodness my mood was changed.  That evening, I began to pray the community prayers as I would if I were with the Sisters.  I did not realize how much I have missed praying these particular prayers.  Even though I had not seen these prayers since March they seemed so familiar they fit perfectly like a glove. I feel more united to the Sisters now.  It also gives me a year or so to learn all the prayers of the community. I still miss being with the Sisters but this is one way that I can continue to be united with them, through prayer!

I ask that you continue to pray for me as I discern and that any obstacles that might be in my path to entering may be taken away!  May God continue to bless you all!

"What About Love? Don't you want someone to care about you?"

No, we are not playing "name that tune" today.  This blog is about something that we all desire and long for, that is love.  We were created out love by Love to be loved and ultimately to love.  I have had people ask me about why I would not want to fall in love and then get married to a man?  "What about love?"  they say.  You see a person does not enter religious life because they could not find a husband or because they are incapable of love.  Actually quite the opposite.  As a Sister, I would be married to Love itself.  To the source of love.  God is love. "Deus caritas est!"   The vocation to religious life is all about love.  Without it we could not faithfully fulfill our vocation. 

So what is love?  "Love is the free self-giving of the heart" By living chastely, poorly, and obediently we allow ourselves to be empty of all material possessions and desires so that God can fill us with His love and with that overflowing of love we can love others that we come in contact with.  We can give our entire selves to love of God and of His people.  What an amazing gift that is?

Religious are called to an intimate love relationship with Christ.  They are not devoid of love but quite the opposite.  I remember both times that I was with the Franciscans their love overflowed into everything that they do.  If it was cooking a meal, visiting with another Sister, talking communion to one of the residents in the nursing home or simply walking around the convent and the grounds you saw the love of God in them and their actions.  One of the first things I remember clearly about Panhandle that a huge affect on me was the love that I saw in Sr. Mary Ana's and Sr. Mary Michael's eyes for all their Sisters.  It was such a beautiful sight!  It has stayed with me since my first visit. I had never seen that before not even in families.  You can visibly see the grace that God has given them to allow them to love like Christ loves.  You see Christ in each one of the Sisters because of their ability to love. 

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” Bl. Mother Teresa

"What really maters in life is that we are loved by Christ and that we love Him in return. In comparison to the love of Jesus, everything else is secondary. And, without the love of Jesus, everything is useless."  John Paul II (soon to be Bl. John Paul II)

Oh just in case you are wondering the song is called "What about Love" by Heart released in 1985. 

Nunsense!

I am feeling humorous tonight after watching "Nunsense".  To be a sister I feel as if one needs to have a sense of humor or at least to be a School Sister.  Everyone of the Sisters there seems to have one.  From the most serious Sister to the most humorous Sister they each have their own sense of humor unique to them.  So tonight I thought I would entertain you with some nunsense.

What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roamin' Catholic

Why don't nuns do drugs?

They already have a habit! (that was stolen from "Nunsense")

A painter was hired to do some work on a local church. To recoup the cost of the discount he had given the church, he diluted his paint with turpentine. One day while he was up on the scaffolding, almost finished with the job, he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.  The rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked the painter off his scaffold and onto the ground below. He knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: “Forgive me Lord! What should I do?” And from above the clouds boomed a voice: “REPAINT! REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!”

Know how to find the catholic "star wars" fans? They're the ones who reply to "may the force be with you" by saying "and also with you" (I've done this)

During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out.

The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.

The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.

The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of darkness.

The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.

The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.

The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.

Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."
The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

A man walked up to a Franciscan and Jesuit and asked, "How many novenas must you say to get a Mercedes Benz?"
The Franciscan asked, "What's a Mercedes Benz?"
The Jesuit asked, "What's a novena?"

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him! 

Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, he's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he's ever had.
After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Francis replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
Father turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be...."
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk..."  

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.  

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest, fingers crossed. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" 

One day, a Dominican and a Jesuit were arguing about which order was better. The Jesuit said that the Gregorian was the best university, the Dominican that "at least in the Angelicum we still believe in God!" . And so forth and so forth. One day they get a letter from God that said the following:



"My Dear children, 

Stop arguing about which is greater, for I love you all anyhow."



Blessings,



God, O.S.F.

 So that was my humor for the evening...I will doing some more serious stuff here in the next few days now that Holy Week is over!  God Bless and Happy Easter!  He is Risen!!!

"Crucify Him"

Holy Week is now upon us.  It began this past Sunday with Palm Sunday.  Palm Sunday commemorates when Christ rode into Jerusalem on an ass.  People are saying "Hosanna in the Highest!  Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord."  They are praising Christ and rejoicing in His coming into Jerusalem.  They are spreading their cloaks and palm leaves in front of His path all the while continuing to cry out and praising him.  But a few days later the same people are suddenly shouting something much different. "Crucify him!" Are we like these people? Do we change our tune depending on how the wind blows? 

This Lent, I have focused more on the Passion of Christ than I had during any previous Lenten seasons.  I have found myself meditating upon the Stations of the Cross more and staring at the crucifix. I think that because I prepared more this Lent I became more in tune to the readings this week.  The reading from Philippians really touched me this Sunday.  I have read it multiple times before because this passage is used in the Liturgy of the Hours but something about it today really struck me.

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Christ made himself a slave for us.  He became man for us.  These statements are nothing new for me; I have known that he humbled Himself and became man but something about it this Sunday made me tear up.  He took the form of a slave for us all.  He allowed Himself to be crucified for us all.

Then we came to the Gospel.  The Gospel during Palm Sunday is the first account of the Passion of Christ that we hear (the readings).  As the Gospel was being proclaimed, I began to tear up once again when we began to hear of the Condemnation of Jesus by Pilate and the people.  I became deeply saddened by what was happening to Christ and knowing that He allowed this to happen for our sins and those of the whole world.  As the assembly of people were saying their part, I began thinking that it is truly us who were shouting "Crucify him." and "We want Barabbas." It is us who spat upon the Precious body of Jesus.  It was us who cruelly mocked him and beat him.  We do this every time that we sin against Him.  We are the one's who nailed Him to the cross.  It is our sins that kept Him there to die.

The crucifixion was not a neat and tidy event like Renaissance art likes to portray it.  It was messy and harsh.  The pain would have been insurmountable.  Jesus' body took a beating beyond any of our bodies would be able to handle.  Flesh was torn from His back as the scourged Him and then torn again after they wrapped Him in a cloak and tore the cloak away after the cloth had adhered to his wounds.  This reopened the wounds and made them hurt even more.  His sacred head was pierced with a crown of piercing thorns.  It was not a wimpy crown of thorns either.  Blood dripped from His sacred head and down His face.  He was then forced to carry a 300 pound cross by himself until Simon of Cyrene was forced to help Jesus take up His cross. His body was still being buffeted by the blows of the soldiers.  Once they reached Golgotha, Jesus was nailed to the cross.  Two nails went through his wrists and another nail went through his feet/lower ankle.  His breathing was labored as it hurt to breath.  People continued to mock him.  Some challenged him by saying that if He was indeed who He claimed to be that He could save Himself. He could come down from the cross.  Jesus at anytime could have called 10,000 angels to take His place but He remained on that cross for us.  Then as death approached He gave up His spirit to God and died.  A solider then took his lance and thrust it into the Precious side of Christ.  Blood and water gushed forth.  He emptied Himself completely for us out of love.  Nothing was left in His body.  He had given everything He has for us so that we may be with Him for eternity. 

I find it incomprehensible that my future husband poured himself out like that for the entire world.  He emptied Himself for me before I was even conceived in my mother's womb.  Women always like to think that their future or current husbands would lay down their life for them out of love however, many husbands never are given this opportunity in such a literal way.  To know that my future husband already has and would do it all again...WOW! "God is Love. We eventually have to ask ourselves the question: why was Love nailed to a cross?" Pope John Paul II

I challenge you all to meditate upon the Passion this upcoming week as we approach Good Friday.  When one meditates and begins to comprehend the Passion one can begin to understand the Resurrection because without a Good Friday there would be no Easter. May God bless you all during this Holy Week! 

The Chrism Mass

Last Thursday, I took three of my teens down to the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral.  I had never been to a Chrism Mass before because it was always at least a three hour or more drive in Atlanta on a Thursday morning when I had class all day.  We arrived early as to get a good seat.  We patiently waited by praying Evening Prayer and quietly talking to one another.

Then the Mass began.  The bowl of incense was first, then the acolytes with candles, the lectors, and people who would be bringing up the oil later on in the Mass then all of the priests of the diocese, then deacons, and then finally Bishop Kinney with his crosier (aka staff) and his mitre (the tall hat).  The Liturgy of the Word went on as it normally does.  Then came time for the homily.  Bishop Kinney stressed our need for priests.  Even though there seems to be a lot of them the Church is in desperate need for them.  He also told how Christ gave His entire self to us.  He poured out everything that He had for us.  Out of His side water and blood gushed when the lance was thrust into His side.  Christ emptied Himself for us and we need to do the same for Him.  We need to empty ourselves and allow Christ to fills us. He reminded us that our priests need our prayers because they are constantly called to sacrifice their lives for Christ and they joyfully do it.  He then told us a story:  There were two priests in Baghdad, Iraq who were relatively new priests.  One was hearing Confessions and the other was saying Mass.  Terrorist came into the cathedral and began threatening the parishioners and the priests.  The young priests tried to reason with the terrorist and offer their lives if only they would let the people leave and go home.  Unfortunately, over 50 people were martyred that day including the two priests. They died for their faith because they fully knew that their faith was worth dying for.  Christ was worth dying for.

Then all of the priests stood and renew their vows.  Offering themselves, once again, to the service of the Church and Her people.  It was amazing hearing all of the priests say together that they will continue to do what God has called them to do.  We , as an assembly, promised to pray for our priests.  Then it was time for the blessing of oils.  Oil has been used through the centuries, dating back to the Jewish people, for anointing .  Exodus 30:22-33 :

Moreover the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: “Also take for yourself quality spices—five hundred shekels of liquid myrrh, half as much sweet-smelling cinnamon (two hundred and fifty shekels), two hundred and fifty shekels of sweet-smelling cane, five hundred shekels of cassia, according to the shekel of the sanctuary, and a hin of olive oil. And you shall make from these a holy anointing oil… And you shall anoint Aaron and his sons, and consecrate them, that they may minister to Me as priests.

 

The bishop blessed the oils and spoke a little bit about each one.  The first was the oil for the sick which is used to anoint people who are sick and dying.  (James 5:14) The second oil is the catechumens.  This oil is used prior to baptism.  It is the oil that is rubbed on a person's chest.  The third is the oil of Chrism . This oil is perfumed and is used at baptisms, confirmation, and ordinations.

Then we continued to the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  Two religious sisters, a Franciscan and a Benedictine (no habits) brought up the gifts.  Watching all the priests consecrating the hosts and saying the Eucharistic prayer was amazing!  To see all of these holy men doing what God called them to do.  God is so faithful let us continue to pray for our priests. 

The Way of the Cross

"We adore you Christ and we praise you because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world."  During the season of Lent most parishes offer Stations of the Cross also known as The Way of the Cross.  We meditate on the Passion of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  We walk with him from the beginning when He is condemned to death all the way to when He is buried in the tomb.  But most people do not know the history of the Stations.  Last Wednesday we prayed the Stations with my teens but prior to that I gave them a very brief history lesson of the Stations...


The Stations are a pilgrimage in spirit to Jerusalem and meditating along the path that Christ walked.  It was said in Tradition that the Blessed Mother use to walk this path daily and recall the Passion of her Beloved Son.  Saints in the 3rd and 4th century remarked that hundreds of pilgrims a day could be found walking this path as well and stopping at points along the path as they meditated on the Passion and prayed for Christ's assistance.  It was not until St. Francis that it became a chapel devotion.  This chapel devotion spread throughout medieval Europe very quickly.

There are two sets of stations...Traditional and Scriptural
The Traditional:

1. Jesus is condemned to death.
2. Jesus is given his cross
3. Jesus falls the first time
4. Jesus meets His Mother
5. Simon of Cyrene carries the cross
6. Veronica wipes the face of Jesus
7. Jesus falls the second time
8. Jesus meets the daughters of Jerusalem
9. Jesus falls the third time
10. Jesus is stripped of His garments
11. Crucifixion: Jesus is nailed to the cross
12. Jesus dies on the cross
13. Jesus' body is removed from the cross and placed in the arms of His mother. 
14. Jesus is laid in the tomb

Pope John Paul II introduced a Scriptural Way of the Cross in 1991 and in 2007 Pope Benedict XVI approved them for public celebration.

1. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane,
2. Jesus is betrayed by Judas and arrested,
3. Jesus is condemned by the Sanhedrin,
4. Jesus is denied by Peter,
5. Jesus is judged by Pilate,
6. Jesus is scourged and crowned with thorns,
7. Jesus takes up His cross,
8. Jesus is helped by Simon to carry His cross,
9. Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem,
10. Jesus is crucified,
11. Jesus promises His kingdom to the repentant thief,
12. Jesus entrusts Mary and John to each other,
13. Jesus dies on the cross,
14. Jesus is laid in the tomb.

Even though Stations are typically only prayed during Lent I have felt a deep yearning to continue to pray them after Lent.  It is a very humbling journey to walk with Christ.  To see the pain and the suffering that He went through for us.  At anytime during this journey He could have easily called ten thousand angels to come and take His place.  But He loves us so much that He knew that this was the only thing that could save us from our sinful nature.  It still amazes me!

Does not call the Sanctified...

This past week has been busy one with things going on with Life Teen and Edge, the Vocations Mass, Confirmation with the bishop, and now that Palm Sunday is coming upon us!  Wow!  This Lent has flown by. 

I have also have been taking more time with the Eucharist; whether it be in Adoration, praying in the Eucharistic Chapel or at daily Mass.  My love for the Eucharist continues to grow the more time that I spend with Him.  I feel as if He is inviting me closer to Him each and every time I go to pray with Him.  He is inviting me to get to know Him better through Scripture, prayers of the Church, and silence.  Silence has been a blessing since the beginning of my discernment process.  Someone once told me that God speaks the in the language of silence.  Silence is such a hard thing to get sometimes because of the world.  Phones are ringing, choir practice, the person next door is blaring their music a little too loud, cars are honking their horns, if you live in Minnesota, the geese are honking and so on and so forth.  But silence is where you can hear God clearly.  Once distractions are removed it is just you and Him.

When I first started discerning I heard God saying "Will you marry me?" which was beyond humbling but scary at the same time.  Now that I have applied, I no longer hear "Will you marry me?" but "Well done my good and faithful servant."  Which is still humbling and scary. Sometimes I wonder why Christ asked me to be His bride.  I am not perfect.  I am not more holy.   Then I remember what St. Francis said, “I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.”  God is merciful and loving. God always seems to chose the most unfitting people for His work.  He called Francis who was a wealthy son of a fabric merchant who in the beginning, wanted only to be a knight.  He desired wealth and women; He partied a lot and consumed too much alcohol on occasion.  But he had a conversion.  He lived his life the way the Gospel instructs us to and many came to follow in His footsteps.  Then St. Augustine, he was probably worse than Francis.  He enjoyed women, alcohol, money etc.  He had a child out of wedlock which was incredibly scandalous back then.  His dear mother, St. Monica, prayed for her husband and her son's conversions.  They both had them.  Her husband had his on his deathbed but Augustine went on to be one of the most well known saints.  He wrote "The Confessions" which is wonderful.  Then of course you have Paul who we meet in Acts.  He was persecuting the Christ followers.  He was killing them and tearing families apart.  He was knocked off of his horse and blinded and had to be lead to Damascus where the scales on His eyes fell off and He could clearly see.  He preached the Gospel far and wide and brought many people to Christ.  And of course Mary Magdalene, she was said to have 7 demons in her and lived a questionable lifestyle.  But once she met Christ her life changed dramatically to show the glory of God.  All of these saints and many more of them are an inspiration to me. They show us that it is possible to do God's work even if we are not the most plausible choice.   Sr. Mary Michael told me once, "God does not call the sanctified but sanctifies the called."  That is a very reassuring thought as this journey continues.  


God bless as we continue the journey through the desert this Lent! 

Things I learned from Trouble with Angels...

This post is on the humorous side...The last two days I have been watching "Trouble with Angels" and "Where Angels Go Trouble Follows"  The Sisters recommended this movie to me during my last trip!  It is absolutely hilarious!  It makes me smile!  Here are some of things that might be useful upon entrance...

1. Sisters may not find it amusing to have bubble bath put into their coffee even though it would be awfully entertaining!  Do not mess with a Sister's coffee! They love their coffee!

2. Don't get on the bad side of Reverend Mother...period! (I am not sure if there is a difference between a Reverend Mother and a Superior General/Regional Superior but for all intensive purposes lets say not to irritate any of the above)

3. Don't try to sneak into the cloistered area of the convent...you will be caught. 

4. Living in Community takes a lot of grace and patience! :D

5. Even a spunky and mischievous young woman could become a Sister! (There is hope for me yet...just kidding)

6. Habits do not make optimal swim wear...

7. Going on a roller coaster in a habit might be a bit troublesome...how would you keep the veil on?  It still would be pretty awesome though!  It makes me laugh just thinking about it. :)

8. Sisters are REAL people and they really do care about the people they work with but we already knew that... :D

9. Don't call a Sister a penguin!!!

10. And last but not least...SISTERS ARE AMAZING WOMEN OF GOD!!!!! Especially these sisters...