So I know it has been awhile since I have written. I have been super busy with work, home, and life in general. I have now moved to a beautiful apartment that I love...it has hot water! Small victories in life.
I was challenged to write down my stepping stones to me belie am called to be a Sister by my Spiritual Director. There are a great many stepping stones I am sure and some that I do not even know now but the Holy Spirit continues to reveal them to me as I continue to pray and ask Him for His guidance. So I am going to try to go through some of these stepping stones now.
The first major stepping stone was first being introduced into the Church through a Life Teen Mass and a Life Night. I felt a call to the Eucharist. I knew that the Eucharist was not a something but a someone. I continued to read Scripture and compare what the Church taught to the Scriptures. It all made perfect sense.
The next major stepping stone was when I went to a youth conference in Montgomery with my youth group. During Adoration I finally acknowledged that Christ loves me, died for me, and that He wanted me to be in full communion with His Church. I supposed you could say "I let Him into my heart" something the Protestants had been trying to get me to do up to this point. This all happened on my 14th birthday. It was the best birthday I could ask for.
The next stepping stone would be me coming into the Church. It was April 7, 2007. I was baptized, received the gifts of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation and then finally received Jesus, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in the Eucharist for the first time. I was filled with His grace and love. It was a magical night for me. I knew that I was a new person.
The next stepping stone would be working with SHYNE. I began to realize that I love working with teens and teaching them the faith. I enjoyed being that spiritual mother to them (I did not know this is what I was doing at the time. I just thought that I was being a good friend to them)
Then I heard it! I had just received Jesus in the Eucharist during the Easter Vigil 2 years after I came into the Church. I do not remember what exactly I heard that time but I think it was as simple as God putting the idea of being a Sister into my head. It kinda freaked me out at first because I am not worthy to be a Sister and i was still young in my faith. Really young. I was still a toddler if you wanted to think about it in that sense. I remember not knowing what to do next.
So like a good daughter I go to my college dad, Deacon Cesar. I went to him and explained to him what had happened and what I was thinking. He then gave me a book to help look through communities and he told me to pray and to remember that just because I am thinking about it does not mean that I am supposed to be a Sister.
I started looking at different communities. I filled out a form that was like a dating site only it matched the discerners with communities. I received a lot of matches back and lots of email messages and mailings. I was continued to search for communities that I was interested in and that I was drawn too. At first I thought I wanted to be a Dominican but realized that they were missing the type of joy that I was looking for. They had joy but not the type I wanted.
Then I stumbled upon the Panhandle Franciscans' website. It made me cry as I looked at the pictures and watched the videos. They had the joy that I wanted. I remember sitting at the computer in tears and just praying and asking God if I could have that type of joy. So I contacted them or they contacted me (not really sure) but as I began a relationship with Sr. Mary Michael I was beginning to see the joy.
I continued to pray and go to Adoration. I kept hearing "Will you marry Me?" or "Will you be My bride?" or "Follow me!" That seriously had an effect on me. So I knew that I had to continue to discern.
During my senior year, I met a very nice gentleman and we began to date. It was a very interesting relationship but I began to have doubts because I was still discerning religious life.
In the Summer of 2010 I went to visit the School Sisters which was a HUGE stepping stone. I finally got to experience what it was like to be at a convent. I got to see what it felt like to live among the Sisters. I loved it there. I was not one hundred percent sure that is where I was supposed to be. However, I did have a wonderful conversation with Sr. Mary Ana. She told me about convent life, being a Sister. We talked about my story. I remember her telling me that whenever I was ready I could ask for an application. I told her at that time I was not ready. I was sad to leave but alas it was time.
Then I moved to Minnesota to be a youth minister. This is not how I planned my life to be like right out of college. I was planning on being an elementary school teacher. But God, as always, laughed at my plans and asked me to do what He desired of me and that meant to move to the "frozen tundra" aka Minnesota. By living in Minnesota I have been given the space needed to discern and to recognize where God desires me to be.
Then in November I broke up with the gentleman because it was obvious where God wanted me to be. I got the overwhelming feeling that I needed to apply or at least have the application. I asked Sr. Mary Michael for one and received one in the mail and I was so excited
The next stepping stone was visiting again in March. As I was traveling I was feeling as if i was going home not just visiting.
I applied and here we are now playing the waiting game for entrance!
I am sure there are more but as for now these are what I have come up with. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment