On the Slowness of God...

"The definition of wisdom is rejoicing in the slowness of God."  Fr. LeRoy told me this during my spiritual direction last week.  I have been meditating on this for the past couple of evenings before I go to bed.  It is really hard to be patient with God because even though I know His timing is better than mine I still would like this process to be complete.  I would like to know that I will be entering with no problems in July but God is making me be reliant on Him, completely.  

As most of you all know my acceptance is conditional upon getting my student loans taken care of before entrance.  I was hoping that I could start working on the rest of the Laboure Society's application process but I am now having to wait until September to finish the application which I started the day after I received my letter of acceptance.  They are redoing their forms and some processes this summer.  Then there is the Mater Ecclesiae which is a grant program as well. I cannot get the application until June 15th.  Then it is due by Nov. 15th and I would not hear anything until March 1, 2012 which would be 4 months prior to my entrance.  This makes me very nervous because it is so close to my entrance date. But I need to keep my trust in God and His plan.  If it is His will for me to be in Panhandle then He will make it happen.   

So "Rejoice in the slowness of God!"  May God bless you all!

Things are Starting to Change...

On Saturday I went to Fargo to go to the Catholic Stores, the book store, the mall, and then a movie.  I was really looking forward to spending the day doing things that I enjoyed!  I started the day off with Mass, Morning Prayer, and Adoration at the Cathedral.  I then had breakfast and read some of my book.  The day had started off really well.  I then headed to the Catholic book store to get graduation presents, pick up books and just look around.  I enjoyed my time there and I met a few seminarians.  It was great!  

I then decided to head to the mall to look for skirts and just hang out prior to going see "Soul Surfer".  I wandered around aimlessly not finding any enjoyment in just being there and around people.  I even wandered into a Christian Store and still was not enjoying myself as I usually do.  I felt my heart longing to go back to the cathedral to spend time with Him in perpetual Adoration.  I brushed it of and went and grabbed lunch and went to the bookstore.  I use to be able to spend hours upon hours at the book store and not even blink an eye.  But I could barely spend an hour there without growing really bored even though I was looking at books that I usually enjoy. 

It was finally time to go to the movies!  I enjoyed "Soul Surfer" and cried lots and lots during the movie.  It is a real tear jerker. Just warning you!

I suppose this detachment is God's way of preparing me for entering.  I am curious what will happen once I get closer to my entrance date if I am already starting to detach from things of this world.  All in God's time!

Patience is a Virtue

A common phrase is "Patience is a virtue" and my response has always been "A virtue I don't have."  I have patience with people, animals, etc but not with waiting for something that I desire. I have been thinking a lot lately about the next year and what it might hold for me.  I know that God has a reason for me not to enter this year as much as I would like to.  I know that God is preparing my heart and perfecting my will as I learn the virtue of patience among many others.  I also know that the Sisters are being prepared in their own special way.  As much as I feel united to them through prayer, I desire to be with them once again.  I am looking forward to the Nun Run this summer not only to spend time with the girls and showing them the beauty of religious life but also to show them the community that I have fallen in love with and of course see my Sisters once again! 

I continue to pray for my vocation and that the student loans that are holding me back from entering will be resolved shortly so that I do not have to worry about it in as much.  This is requiring me to trust in God completely and know that if God desires me to become a Sister then He will prepare the way and remove all the obstacles that are in my way right now.  God has begin to slowly move some of these obstacles and continues to show me a clear path.  I keep telling myself and Christ, "Jesus, I trust in You!"

A funny story, a Sister from the Franciscan community nearby approached Fr. Greg after Saturday night Mass and said that he needed to help get Franciscan sisters to come out of this parish.  He responded "Well, we do have a young woman who is entering a Franciscan community in the summer of 2012" Her response, "Great we will love having her" Fr. Greg. "She is actually going to Texas!"  This is something I have gotten a lot!  "Why don't you join the Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls?" They have the misconception that all communities are the same.  Despite the fact that they are a Franciscan community they are still very different than the School Sisters.  They no longer wear the habit and they do not live in community like I desire.  I could not imagine myself being a Sister and living by myself and no other Sisters.  Community life is important to me. 

I ask for your continued prayers and know that I am praying for you all as well! 

United in Prayer

This weekend I received the official acceptance letter and the community prayers among other things that are not as exciting, like a physical form.  I received this wonderful package of joy in the mail mid morning before I left for a series of errands which I am not to typically fond of doing but alas they had to get done.

Once I received this packet of goodness my mood was changed.  That evening, I began to pray the community prayers as I would if I were with the Sisters.  I did not realize how much I have missed praying these particular prayers.  Even though I had not seen these prayers since March they seemed so familiar they fit perfectly like a glove. I feel more united to the Sisters now.  It also gives me a year or so to learn all the prayers of the community. I still miss being with the Sisters but this is one way that I can continue to be united with them, through prayer!

I ask that you continue to pray for me as I discern and that any obstacles that might be in my path to entering may be taken away!  May God continue to bless you all!

"What About Love? Don't you want someone to care about you?"

No, we are not playing "name that tune" today.  This blog is about something that we all desire and long for, that is love.  We were created out love by Love to be loved and ultimately to love.  I have had people ask me about why I would not want to fall in love and then get married to a man?  "What about love?"  they say.  You see a person does not enter religious life because they could not find a husband or because they are incapable of love.  Actually quite the opposite.  As a Sister, I would be married to Love itself.  To the source of love.  God is love. "Deus caritas est!"   The vocation to religious life is all about love.  Without it we could not faithfully fulfill our vocation. 

So what is love?  "Love is the free self-giving of the heart" By living chastely, poorly, and obediently we allow ourselves to be empty of all material possessions and desires so that God can fill us with His love and with that overflowing of love we can love others that we come in contact with.  We can give our entire selves to love of God and of His people.  What an amazing gift that is?

Religious are called to an intimate love relationship with Christ.  They are not devoid of love but quite the opposite.  I remember both times that I was with the Franciscans their love overflowed into everything that they do.  If it was cooking a meal, visiting with another Sister, talking communion to one of the residents in the nursing home or simply walking around the convent and the grounds you saw the love of God in them and their actions.  One of the first things I remember clearly about Panhandle that a huge affect on me was the love that I saw in Sr. Mary Ana's and Sr. Mary Michael's eyes for all their Sisters.  It was such a beautiful sight!  It has stayed with me since my first visit. I had never seen that before not even in families.  You can visibly see the grace that God has given them to allow them to love like Christ loves.  You see Christ in each one of the Sisters because of their ability to love. 

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” Bl. Mother Teresa

"What really maters in life is that we are loved by Christ and that we love Him in return. In comparison to the love of Jesus, everything else is secondary. And, without the love of Jesus, everything is useless."  John Paul II (soon to be Bl. John Paul II)

Oh just in case you are wondering the song is called "What about Love" by Heart released in 1985. 

Nunsense!

I am feeling humorous tonight after watching "Nunsense".  To be a sister I feel as if one needs to have a sense of humor or at least to be a School Sister.  Everyone of the Sisters there seems to have one.  From the most serious Sister to the most humorous Sister they each have their own sense of humor unique to them.  So tonight I thought I would entertain you with some nunsense.

What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roamin' Catholic

Why don't nuns do drugs?

They already have a habit! (that was stolen from "Nunsense")

A painter was hired to do some work on a local church. To recoup the cost of the discount he had given the church, he diluted his paint with turpentine. One day while he was up on the scaffolding, almost finished with the job, he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.  The rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked the painter off his scaffold and onto the ground below. He knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: “Forgive me Lord! What should I do?” And from above the clouds boomed a voice: “REPAINT! REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!”

Know how to find the catholic "star wars" fans? They're the ones who reply to "may the force be with you" by saying "and also with you" (I've done this)

During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out.

The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.

The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.

The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of darkness.

The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.

The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.

The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.

Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."
The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

A man walked up to a Franciscan and Jesuit and asked, "How many novenas must you say to get a Mercedes Benz?"
The Franciscan asked, "What's a Mercedes Benz?"
The Jesuit asked, "What's a novena?"

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him! 

Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, he's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he's ever had.
After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Francis replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
Father turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be...."
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk..."  

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.  

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest, fingers crossed. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" 

One day, a Dominican and a Jesuit were arguing about which order was better. The Jesuit said that the Gregorian was the best university, the Dominican that "at least in the Angelicum we still believe in God!" . And so forth and so forth. One day they get a letter from God that said the following:



"My Dear children, 

Stop arguing about which is greater, for I love you all anyhow."



Blessings,



God, O.S.F.

 So that was my humor for the evening...I will doing some more serious stuff here in the next few days now that Holy Week is over!  God Bless and Happy Easter!  He is Risen!!!

"Crucify Him"

Holy Week is now upon us.  It began this past Sunday with Palm Sunday.  Palm Sunday commemorates when Christ rode into Jerusalem on an ass.  People are saying "Hosanna in the Highest!  Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord."  They are praising Christ and rejoicing in His coming into Jerusalem.  They are spreading their cloaks and palm leaves in front of His path all the while continuing to cry out and praising him.  But a few days later the same people are suddenly shouting something much different. "Crucify him!" Are we like these people? Do we change our tune depending on how the wind blows? 

This Lent, I have focused more on the Passion of Christ than I had during any previous Lenten seasons.  I have found myself meditating upon the Stations of the Cross more and staring at the crucifix. I think that because I prepared more this Lent I became more in tune to the readings this week.  The reading from Philippians really touched me this Sunday.  I have read it multiple times before because this passage is used in the Liturgy of the Hours but something about it today really struck me.

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Christ made himself a slave for us.  He became man for us.  These statements are nothing new for me; I have known that he humbled Himself and became man but something about it this Sunday made me tear up.  He took the form of a slave for us all.  He allowed Himself to be crucified for us all.

Then we came to the Gospel.  The Gospel during Palm Sunday is the first account of the Passion of Christ that we hear (the readings).  As the Gospel was being proclaimed, I began to tear up once again when we began to hear of the Condemnation of Jesus by Pilate and the people.  I became deeply saddened by what was happening to Christ and knowing that He allowed this to happen for our sins and those of the whole world.  As the assembly of people were saying their part, I began thinking that it is truly us who were shouting "Crucify him." and "We want Barabbas." It is us who spat upon the Precious body of Jesus.  It was us who cruelly mocked him and beat him.  We do this every time that we sin against Him.  We are the one's who nailed Him to the cross.  It is our sins that kept Him there to die.

The crucifixion was not a neat and tidy event like Renaissance art likes to portray it.  It was messy and harsh.  The pain would have been insurmountable.  Jesus' body took a beating beyond any of our bodies would be able to handle.  Flesh was torn from His back as the scourged Him and then torn again after they wrapped Him in a cloak and tore the cloak away after the cloth had adhered to his wounds.  This reopened the wounds and made them hurt even more.  His sacred head was pierced with a crown of piercing thorns.  It was not a wimpy crown of thorns either.  Blood dripped from His sacred head and down His face.  He was then forced to carry a 300 pound cross by himself until Simon of Cyrene was forced to help Jesus take up His cross. His body was still being buffeted by the blows of the soldiers.  Once they reached Golgotha, Jesus was nailed to the cross.  Two nails went through his wrists and another nail went through his feet/lower ankle.  His breathing was labored as it hurt to breath.  People continued to mock him.  Some challenged him by saying that if He was indeed who He claimed to be that He could save Himself. He could come down from the cross.  Jesus at anytime could have called 10,000 angels to take His place but He remained on that cross for us.  Then as death approached He gave up His spirit to God and died.  A solider then took his lance and thrust it into the Precious side of Christ.  Blood and water gushed forth.  He emptied Himself completely for us out of love.  Nothing was left in His body.  He had given everything He has for us so that we may be with Him for eternity. 

I find it incomprehensible that my future husband poured himself out like that for the entire world.  He emptied Himself for me before I was even conceived in my mother's womb.  Women always like to think that their future or current husbands would lay down their life for them out of love however, many husbands never are given this opportunity in such a literal way.  To know that my future husband already has and would do it all again...WOW! "God is Love. We eventually have to ask ourselves the question: why was Love nailed to a cross?" Pope John Paul II

I challenge you all to meditate upon the Passion this upcoming week as we approach Good Friday.  When one meditates and begins to comprehend the Passion one can begin to understand the Resurrection because without a Good Friday there would be no Easter. May God bless you all during this Holy Week!